When a pupil says hello/hi/alright what are they really trying to say?

Polite year 7
Choice of greeting: "Hi sir!"
Translation: "Hi sir! Appraise me! Appraise me!"
Suitable response: "Hiya!"

Polite year 11
Choice of greeting: "Alright, sir"
Translation: "Alright."
Suitable response: Low-key "Alright."

Aggressive Year 11 (male)
Choice of greeting: "Alright?!!?!"
Translation: "I'm hard me, go on, reprimand me, go on, I dare you!"
Suitable response: Crisp but cordial "Morning/Afternoon"

Sexually aggresive Year 11 (female)
Choice of greeting: (sultrily) "Hi Siiir"
Translation: "I want to get you fired."
Suitable response: Run away. Very fast.