My first interview was, shall we say, unsuccessful. This being an appropriate euphemism for 'fuck! that didn't go well!'

My lesson was excellent apparently - well, duh! I am getting pretty good at this teaching lark - but I was let down by my inability to answer interview questions without wondering what the hell was going on.

The trouble I have is with questions that start off fine:

'What do you understand to be the significance of the role of a form tutor?'

Okay, no problem I can answer that. But then:

'And taking this into account what is the average wing velocity of a fully-laden swallow?'

Well, maybe I'm exaggerating slightly but it didn't seem far off. Bloomin' adults and their sub-questions and complicated codes of language. No wonder I look forward to lessons during lunch time - it's the only opportunity for a sensible conversation - even if it is about favourite colours, easter eggs and my collar being too small for me to be able to do up my top button (contravening school rules).