Today I discovered the joys of being ill (a really really nasty virus that would have killed lesser individuals... okay, okay, it was just man-flu) in school. The result of this killer-bug was a decrease in vocal responsivity - in other words my mind said 'Be Quiet!' but my vocal chords said 'bleugh'. The irony was that due to this sudden inability to say anything more comprehensible than expected from a Radiohead track I was forced to use the names-on-the-board method of behaviour management, which in turn led to one of my most abley controlled lessons with Year 9. Maybe I should try being phlegmy more often.
My Year 8s were sympathetic - more so than my colleagues in fact - asking if I was okay and commenting on my nose being the colour of a tomato, before renaming me Rudolph the red nosed maths teacher in a typically pleasant and endearing way that few teenagers can manage.
The downside was one pupil pointing out that a member of my previously mentioned teenage fanclub was also ill and saying, 'hmmm coincidence' in a tone of voice that suggested it was anything but. What exactly was she trying to insinuate? Well, to be honest it isn't a coincidence seeing as it's probably a bug going around school, though that's not really the point. Not wanting to make a fuss over it but not wanting to just laugh it off, I settled for a good frown and walked away as Rudolph the slightly embarrassed and red faced maths teacher.
Come on, next thing you'll be saying you can't refer to the kids as Chav larvae!
2006-05-15 @ 19:10