I know for sure that I was (was?!) thick when I was in the years between thirteen and twenty and I don't think I'm alone.

During schools days between lessons I sit at the top of a stairwell. Often pupils will choose the bottom of the stairs as a place to 'hang' (I'm down with the lingo. Today i got called a spoff - answers on a postcard please). This usually results in me getting out of my seat and in a very deep and serious tone issuing the command of 'outside' or if I'm feeling particularly sarcastic they might receive a 'just passing through are we?'

However sometimes the pupils' conversatiosn intrigue me and I let them stay so I can eavesdrop - oh, Professional Values and Practice be damned! Today was one such instance.

Boy number 1: 'She was being all sulky on MSN and saying that she didn't realise why I was pissed off with her.'
Boy number 2: 'Did you tell her?'
Boy number 1: 'Well I was saying that she'd really annoyed me yesterday because she kept hitting me.'
Boy number 2: 'Yeah, she's so immature, why does she do that?'

It took every ounce of my strength to stop myself from jumping up from my chair and shouting down the stairs:

'IT'S BECAUSE SHE FANCIES YOU AND WANTS TO GET YOUR ATTENTION, YOU DOZEY LITTLE SOD!!!'

Teeangers - when will they learn?

During lessons I often find myself humming the Arctic Monkeys' song Mardy Bum - presumably as a consequence of yet another teenage girl sulking after:

a) she can't do the work
b) she's had a row with her boyfriend
c) she's stuck in school on a sunny day listening to a semi-competent student teacher who looks barely old enough to be in year eight, let alone teach it
d) all of the above

Take out the bit in the song about cuddles in the kitchen and it works amazingly well - I clearly do care otherwise I'd have quit teaching the first time someone said 'But you're rubbish at explaining it' Or after the second time, or the third time, or the fourth time...

Maybe I should take a hint.

My second interview took place yesterday, resulting once again in a disappointment, though a much happier one than the first, seeing as I was actually capable of more than incoherent ramblings during the interview proper. Highlights included:

"And there was this time when one of my pupils said 'I can't do algebra because I'm blonde'" (it seemed relevant at the time)

"Well as a 'proper' (use of my fingers in that annoying way that is supposed to signify inverted commas) teacher..."

And of course I asked them what programme of induction they offered NQTs - not that I actually have a clue what this question means. I just read it somewhere as a suggested question to ask at interviews and wanted to sound like I knew what I was on about.

Oh well, third time lucky perhaps.