First day back and I'm already rushing around - I'm not sure how it's possible but the time from when I arrive at seven o'clock until briefing at twenty to nine is never enough. I somehow always find something vitally important that needs doing at exactly thirty five minutes past eight, end up panicking, doing it badly, running into briefing as the bell goes, looking as though I've only just managed to get into school, after running a marathon, in gale force winds. I wonder how grown up teachers manage to look so calm in the mornings - perhaps they're smoking pot at eight o'clock.

Briefing itself was notable by the absence of the table the maths department sits round. The head of department has been kicking up quite a fuss lately, but even so.

First lesson was year eight. They were in a lovely mood and managed to shut up and listen. When I complimented them on settling down to work so well one of them suggested that it was because they were tired. Long may it continue, I vote to ban children from sleeping.

I wondered if maybe this was the way things were going to be from now on. Perhaps after being at the school a full term I'd earnt the right to being seen as a proper teacher and deserving of some respec'. Unfortunately this illusion was shattered by year ten class number one who seemed far too interested in gossiping about Christmas to bother with doing any work.

Things went from bad to worse with my supposedly 'good' year tens being typically annoying. I hate to say it but there are some pupils who you just feel like throwing things at. Preferably very sharp and heavy things. Annoying child 'A' was requesting a new folder for his coursework after he'd ripped it. 'But sir aren't school supposed to provide folders?' Technically no we don't have to, but I had done anyway and he'd demolished it, the stupid little twat. But after reading a book about being polite to all pupils, especially the irritating ones, I managed to hold my tongue. Just.

Year nine were silly but seemed like heaven afterwards. At least they were relatively polite, though one girl did complain I wasn't showing much Christmas Spirit by setting homework the first day back.

I'd almost forgotten - already it feels like we were never away.