'We're really looking to clamp down on mobile phones and I-Pods this week.'

So said the deputy head during today's briefing. The pupils shouldn't have anything more expensive than a biro on them in school. Which given the desire of half of them to crush, burn and destroy anything that can be crushed, burned or destroyed and a few other things besides isn't such a bad rule.

My favourite year tens lived up to my expectations as I confiscated one mobile and one MP3 player. Look at me, working for 'the man'. Cue much protestation and increasingly familiar excuses: 'I wasn't listening to it, I was just getting something out of my bag', 'It was only the headphones I had out' and in case I needed reminding it is of course 'not fair!'

Thankfully there are some smart pupils in the class, 'Oh just shut up! You shouldn't have it in school and you know it! Just get on with your work and stop arguing'. It's nice to have someone in the class who says what I think but can't get away with vocalising.

Fast forward to the end of the day. The daughter of the deputy head came to the maths office and asked if anyone had seen her phone that she'd left in class earlier. This seemed to overjoy some of the other teachers in the department who have something of a disregard towards senior management. I haven't been at the school long enough to hold any grudges but I couldn't help but appreciate the irony, it did rather step on the point of the morning's briefing.