I don't really like going to assemblies - you spend fifteen minutes registering the form, reading out notices and getting down there and then have to listen to a load more notices, including some you read out yourself ten minutes ago. Don't get me wrong, the topics can be quite interesting sometimes but if only they weren't so much hassle.

I'm lucky because I'm only 'with' a year seven form, meaning they have a proper form tutor and I just hang around like a pleb. This means I don't have to go to assemblies but I've realised that the English NQT that I quite like (okay, yeah, fancy quite a bit) has a year seven form so by going I get to be in the same room as her, and possibly exchange a meaningful glance, which is definitely worth the effort.

I'm pretty sure that's not stalking - I mean, if you're going to stalk someone you'd choose somewhere better than a great big hall where there's nowhere to hide - eleven year olds don't offer much cover. And besides I've got to take any chances I can get because it's a big school so you can go days without seeing someone. I can't exactly go up to the English department's table during briefing and say: 'oh, hi. Is it okay if I chat up your NQT?' It's just not professional. Perhaps I need to come up with some reason for needing a dictionary so I can to go up to the English office during dinner. Like wanting to find out how to spell obsession.

It's easy after a bad lesson to give up and hope the pupils get run over by the school bus. Very easy. After a particularly dreadful lesson with year ten today where I felt completely harrassed and couldn't stand the thoguht of ever teaching them again, I looked at the register and thought about what each pupil had done in the past hour. And my conclusions were that the pupils fell into four general categories:

Perfect: Listened well and didn't give me any hassle. This is what it's all about - roughly half the class.

Chatty: A bit talkative but pleasant enough. You keep having to tell them to put a sock in it but you don't feel like throwing things at them - a quarter of the class

Dopey: 'I don't get it!' The sort of kid who frustrates you but it's not their fault really - about 1/5 of the class.

Horrible: The sort of pupil who you want to kick out of the room the moment you see them walk in the room. You can't do that of course because you've got to give them a fair chance, but they'll blow it anyway by making comments like 'you're rubbish' or 'I am facing the right way!' (yes, if we were looking at the display on the back wall you would be facing the right way). Thankfully there are only two of these in the class.

The problem then isn't how to sort out the class so much as how to focus on the good kids and ignore the bad - if only they could be quiet pains-in-the-neck.