Some pupils have an alarming lack of understanding of consequence, or perhaps just don't care.

Pupil 1: 'Sir, my pen sucks!'

Pupil 2: 'So do you but I'm not saying what.'

The worst thing was that he said it in the same way as you might just say 'hello, how are you?'

Out he went.

Last week saw a pupil writing a horrid note about celebrating my death (should it happen any time soon). It's times like these you learn a bit about the school you work in. A bad school would probably agree that I was a 'fuckin knob', fortunately I'm in a good school so I didn't get this treatment.

The pupil who wrote it received an after-school detention and the pupils who signed the note were given a good talking to. Letters of apology have been written including from the mother of the child in question - she seemed gutted that her daughter had done such a thing.

So now it's all in the past.

Thank God.