My year tens will be sitting a module test on Monday. When I was at school doing exams I never had a problem with nerves, but now that some of my pupils are taking them I'm really stressed out. I even yelled at a pupil for that most heinous of crimes: being out of their seat sharpening a pencil.

My higher ability group are really well motivated and are trying hard but my foundation group don't seem to care very much. Last Friday's lesson was a chaotic scene of tissues being thrown across the room and plans for the evening being discussed. You'd think they'd be more energised by the looming test but no, Friday-afternon demob lunacy takes precedence.

One pupil said that she would get a dcotors note saying she was ill so she could do the test another time, and followed this statement up with 'I'm really clever me.' I resisted the urge to say, 'no, actually you're thick as pig-shit' and offered a rather more diplomatic: 'yes you are, but that isn't one of your better ideas'.

Some of the class are up for it though, including one boy who upon seeing one of the assistant heads walking by - thankfully during a lull in the madness - asked if he could go show him a practice paper he'd got 40/40 on. As if I'm going to refuse the chance for a senior manager to see how well some of my pupils are doing.

Being a teacher isn't one of those jobs where you can sit down and relax for any length of time. It's all go, go, go - except for all those lovely holidays where it's sleep, sleep, sleep. So, during the average day at school my pulse-rate races goes on a rollercoaster ride.

It's bad enough when the classes misbahave or when senior management walk past my room, but the start of the day is the worst. It's not to do with getting ready to face the pupils. It's because I know I'll see the lovely English NQT in briefing. It's a real problem actually because I always try to eat a banana ahead of the day - something to give me some energy until lunch - but my stomach is so full of butterflies because of even a quick two-minute snatch of a conversation with her that I can't get anything down my throat. As a consequence my belly starts rumbling during period two, I feel all faint and my lessons are hopeless.

I wonder if that'll work as an excuse the next time I'm observed.