It's year nine parents' evening on Wednesday. I'm already practising my 'he's a nice enough lad, but I do wish he could keep quiet for more than three seconds' speach. Prior to the year seven equivalent my class were angelic, clearly the thought of their parents hearing from half a dozen different teachers was enough to scare them straight. Pity it didn't last.

My year nines however seemed unconcerned about what I might have to say about them. One pupil even told me that his mum was 'going to have a right go at' me. I told him I was very much looking forward to meeting her to discuss his progress, or lack thereof, in my lessons. I also wonder what her expression will be when she hears his quote. It's times like that I wish I carried a dictophone in lessons.

But the award for the silliest-thing-to-say-before-parents'-evening goes to the boy who I put in detention this dinnertime. When leaving the room told me that he misbehaved because he didn't like me. Honestly, some pupils should go for a career in undertaking: they're just so good at digging holes.