This lunchtime I had four year sevens turning up for a detention. I got them sat down as usual, but hang on a minute: 'Billy I've not put you in detention. Why are you here?'

'Yeah you did, I was talking on Wednesday'

'No you've already had that detention, you can go'

'Can't I stay? Lunch is so boring.'

What?! If (no, when) I put my year nines in detention they run out of the room as soon as my back is turned. I think I'm going to have to start threatening to not put pupils in detention if they enjoy it so much.

The kid was so determined to stay that I had to get his form tutor to move him - I felt a bit silly saying: 'Billy's turned up for a detention he hasn't got and now I can't get rid of him.' He eventually moved but then spent the next ten minutes charging up and down the corridor with a moronic grin on his face. Some kids you just can't get rid of.