I'm having an emotional rollercoaster ride these past couple of weeks. I've had pupils asking me if I'm going to be sacked, I've had a meeting with the deputy head - as have all NQTs actually - and this afternoon I had the fright of my life.
The phone rang in the maths office this afternoon and I picked it up: 'Can you come and see the head for a few minutes.' I nearly screamed down the phone. I think the head's secretary could probably detect the panic in my voice. What had I done now? Had the CCTV caught me swearing at the photocopier and shaking my fist? Can you get sacked for intimidating office equipment? No matter what your position in a school is - pupil, teacher, garden snail - a request to go see the head is sure to induce mild terror.
I approached his room with my legs turning to jelly. My heartrate leapt up. I suddenly felt the urge to run for the hills or seeing as the school is based in a hilly area, run away from the hills.
I entered his office and he invited me to sit down. Is that a P45 on his desk? Is that an execution warrant?
Well no. Obviously not. It turns out he wanted to ask me about a meeting I'd been to a few weeks back to do with a teacher 'professional support' service. I managed to start breathing again.
I'm not sure how much more of this sort of thing I can take. I'll be jumping at shadows - or year sevens - soon. On the plus side I am at least emerging unscathed. During my meeting with the deputy head she described me as 'not an inadequate teacher', which I was actually quite pleased about. Another NQT had been saying how the deputy had sung her praises but after the trials and tribulations of the year I was happy with her comment that even though I suck at managing behaviour, my classes' results are good so I 'must be doing something right.' Praise indeed.
2007-07-02 @ 19:36