I've been proud of my attendance record this year. Several bad colds have failed to put me off turning up to teach - albeit phlegmily and badly. My voice has been shredded on numerous occasions to the point where I thought I was eating sandpaper. I even made it in through the snow; only to be told that the school was closing for the day.

But last night was too much. I set a personal best for the amount of times thrown up in the space of a few hours. I got to see what cabbage looks like after several hours in a human stomach - worrying this is exactly the same as it looks like on a plate.

I tried to get ready for school. I really did. But with the only thing remaining to put on my shirt and tie I came across my breakfast for the second time. Never a good sign. I called in sick and set cover work for my classes.

Given that the room appears to be moving around me I think I made the right choice. I'd probably be telling my year nines to stop swaying in their seats and would have fainted by the time I got to period five. At which point my year tens would have probably started kicking me in the ribs - they don't like me very much.

So here we have a bonus blog entry - a one-off school day special. I've not had a day off sick for anything in ages so am incredibly bored. I can't imagine why anyone would ever pull a sickie. I'm sorely tempted to start teaching my cats to solve equations. I even wish I was about to teach my noisy year nines... Good God. I must be ill.