Sports Day is an exciting time for all concerned. Falling within sight of the end of the school year, it's definitely something to look forward to, if only for the fact that there's only seven hours of school left afterwards.

I always thought that kids at school were competitive but that's nothing compared to the teachers. The 100 metre sprint is a hotly contested event with all-out vistory vital to all participants. This year it was replaced with an event suited more to the Generation Game featuring rubber gloves, mops and buckets. The theme was getting dressed up to clean a house, though I think it might actually have been an optimistic attempt to get the staff involved to clean the school. We have one cleaner for the whole of the maths block, plus god knows where else. This cleaner to room ratio does tend to favour those who like dusty floors that you can easily slip on and break your neck.

Regardless this theme provided a bit of a leveller as sprinting prowess was of secondary importance, leaving the way clear for the likes of me to take part. The absolute highlight was hearing a load of kids chanting my name, without adding 'is a w***er' on the end. I thought that was the most considerate. I didn't win, the key to success seemed to be the ability to tie an apron around your waist. Though it's not the winning of course, it's the taking part.