It might just be my imagination but I'm sure the girls at school have gotten more flirtatious over the summer. I keep having pupils saying things like: 'we were just talking about you' and then giggling. Which might mean that there is something inherently amusing about me, but when it's coupled with an unhealthy obsession with my car ('I know your number plate sir...'), my living arrangements and marital status then it's a sure sign that something's up.

It's even to the extent that they were threatening to come to the warhammer club I run, which admittedly would be quite funny seeing as they are the most incredibly girly-girls I've ever taught and would look like, well, some girls at a warhammer club. I'm not sure what the boys at the club would make of it seeing as they are teenage versions of myself so their capacity to make conversation with pretty girls is limited to 'buh', 'Do you like Space Marines?' and communicated non-verbally: 'walk all over me, use me to take your bag to the form room, steal my pens, pencils and assorted stationary and laugh at me wherever possible'. Which is pretty much what my pupils do to me these days.