There's a nutcase who was walking about the school grounds last weekend. The head sent out a letter to the pupils mentioning this but I think this might have been a mistake.

During my year eight lesson on Friday the caretaker walked past the window: 'ARRGHH! There's a paedophile outside!' Clearly any grown-up on school property who isn't a teacher - and a few of those are something of a question mark - must be a paedophile. I then had one girl worried about being raped on the way home. Clearly this is hysterical nonsense, she's much more likely to be run over by the school bus. I didn't point this out to her.