It Shouldn't Happen to a Teacher

The girls at school are freaking me out more and more every day. I was in a good mood this morning and one of my year eights commented on it. They then started trying to guess why: 'You're getting married? You're having a baby? It's your birthday? It's cos he's going out with Miss XYZ' etc...The honest answers to each are: 'No bloody way. Not that I know of. Not yet. I wish'

They concluded the most likely explanation was my birthday which isn't for another month and a half so started singing happy birthday as an assistant head walked by. Nice timing guys. They then started passing round a piece of paper as though it were a birthday card. Really not good. I wish they'd take me more seriously. I prefer kids who hate me to the ones who actually quite like me but show it in such an irritating way.

As this weren't enough I then had two former pupils coming into my year nine lesson at the start to ask if they could join my group because they hate their class. I reassured them that their current teacher - a supply - was a brilliant teacher. This is a lie, he's worse than me which is really saying something. As they finally left one blew a kiss at me. One of the actual members of the class told me I'd better catch it quick and later wrote that I 'heart' the girl blowing the kiss.

That's it. I'm going to teach at an all boys school. It's just not worth the hassle.

I told my year nines that they needed to complete at least six questions from a particular exercise. One boy accued me of being unfair and that it wasn't possible.

Nearer the end of the lesson I asked him where he'd got to:

'oh, I managed to get question six done'. And done well too, 'It was hard work though'

Right. So presumably I shouldn't be actually making my pupils doing anything remotely challenging. Maybe next lesson I'll bring in some playdoh.

I was just checking my emails and came across an advert for teaching. There was a picture of a kid holding a marker pen at the board and the caption was: 'are your colleagues this pleased when the numbers add up?'

I hate to destroy any illusions the advertisers have about kids but he was probably clebrating writing 'shit' on the board, was just high or has ADHD.