It was windy and rainy today which meant my roam around the school's perimeter looking to not find any smokers was blissfully quiet. There was one year eleven from the inclusion centre who bussled past me out of the gate. I'm not going to physically stop her so flagged it up later and she had a valid reason anyway so that wasn't a problem.

The only kids I really saw were some sixth form girls. As a rule I try to avoid these at all costs as they're a little too close to my own age for my liking. The trouble is that if they start talking to me I can hardly ignore them and it's difficult to not end up walking the tightrope between being friendly and sharing a quick joke and actually flirting with them.

They way I see it is that I'm a consumate professional so would not be one of those dodgy teachers who take developing relationships with their pupils a little too far, but it's best to avoid any unnecessary temptation.

The day started badly as my year tens were crazy and noisy. They were talking about drugs from across the classroom and being rather awkward in general. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't have a big exam (does it count sir? Yes it does!) on Monday.

My year nine's were the worst though, or at least one girl in particular was. She arrived ten minutes late and immediately asked to go to the toilet. Yeah right, like that's going to happen when she's already missed so much of the lesson. I said a firm but fair no. Five minutes later and she asks again. She couldn't seem to understand why I wouldn't let her go. She keeps asking and asking and asking and eventually calls me a wanker. It's strange but if a pupils calls me a wanker I find it easier to deal with than say a pupil whistling or even chewing gum. It's so much clearer what to do, which sadly is to boot them out of the classroom and pass it on to someone bigger and scarier than me.

Then I was teaching a year ten class in the afternoon. I only teach them once every two weeks because their regular teacher is only part-time. I have a silly little boy calling me Frodo and kicking up a fuss because a question on a non-calculator test says 'calculate' but I won't let him use a calculator. I hate that so much. I don't mind kids being thick but I can't stand it when they think calculate means use a calculator. It makes me want to scream at them: IT'S CALLED A CALCULATOR BECAUSE YOU USE IT TO CALCULATE THINGS, SHIT FOR BRAINS. DID YOU REALLY THINK SOMEONE INVENTED A DEVICE FOR DOING SUMS AND THEN RANDOMLY DECIDED TO NAME IT A CALCULATOR? DO YOU THINK TO RESPIRE YOU HAVE TO USE A RESPIRATOR? GOOD GRIEF!

Ahem.

Anyway I was very glad to get to the end of the day and I walked out of the building. It became clear what the problem had been as I was nearly swept off my feet by a gust of wind.