I lost my pencil case during a lesson with my year eights in the computer room. I told them today that I wouldn't be angry at them if they'd picked it up 'by mistake' and returned it to me. No one did but one girl said they'd seen it and knew where it was.

So at break she magically goes and retrieves it with a giggling friend in tow. I'm not naturally suspicious but it's remarkable how good her observation skills were.

The pupils haven't taken too keenly to the new headteacher and some of the staff haven't exactly helped with this. She's requested that we don't show the kids videos until the last day of term. Partly because we're a school not a cinema but also because there's only so many times a child can watch Shrek without starting to think that they're an ogre. And besides from my own experience of end of term videos you only really acquire a knowledge of the first hour of films. At one point I knew the first half of Austin Powers, There's Something About Mary and Dances with Wolves (History: we were doing about Plains Indians) off by heart without having ever seen the conclusions of said films.

Some teachers have passed this on to the kids and said that the head won't let them show videos, which personally I think is a cop out. When a kid asks if we can watch a video next lesson it's very tempting to blame someone else and make out that you'd love to let them run riot and destroy the classroom, and while we're at it who fancies some vodka? Some fags? Pills?... if only senior management would agree to it. Some staff are taking it too far and saying that we're not allowed to do anything remotely fun. Which isn't even what was said, and hey kids, maths is fun! Right?

My year tens don't get it that I want them to be quiet. They seem to assume it's an option that I'm suggesting to them that they can take or leave. It isn't but they can't get that into their thick skulls.

I kept a few (too many) of them back yesterday and only needed them to stay for a few minutes. Annoying girl #1 shouts out 'you can't keep me, I've got to go to a meeting'. If she'd have been quiet she'd have made it there without being too late, but seeing as she could make a career from being irritating she ended up staying for fifteen minutes as we went through a repeating cycle of 'I've got to go' - 'only when you're quiet'. It got a little dull to be honest.

The girls at our school freak me out on a day to day basis but seeing as it's the season of good will to all men (and maths teachers) they seem even more terrifying.

I'm a little concerned by all these Christmas cards signed with 'lots of love' on them. Steady on. Admittedly I'm scared of the word love in all shapes and sizes. It's a word that I think should be kept in a box and only ever be got out on very special occasions, like weddings and even then it should only be used once or twice. But I think it's a bit much on a Christmas card to a maths teacher.

One card said 'thanx for a brill 2 years, Mr xxxx = excellent teacher, lots of love, x and z = great pupils and good behaviour' Seeing as they're not that great pupils I guess that means I'm not an excellent teacher. Oh, who am I kidding: I'm brilliant.

Then yesterday one of my year eights hugged me against my wishes. As they say: never work animals or children - especially teenage girls.

There are many advantages to being the most junior member of a department. I get to be the energetic and enthusiastic one with mad ideas, everyone takes pity on me when the kids play up and I get to hang out with the gorgeous girls from the English department without looking sleazy, to name but three.

But sometimes I feel a little pushed around. My head of department has suggested I go on a course to do with some focus thing (school focus? learning focus? hocus pocus focus?). The aim is targeting pupils who should be getting Cs but aren't. The official reasoning being that I openly hate top sets and have had some success - buggered if I know why - with a year eleven class that fit the bill. The real reason is that everyone else in the department would just moan about new initiatives and tell him to piss off, and in fact probably already have.

Of course being energetic and enthusiastic and into mad ideas I would of course be delighted to go.

Plus I'm guessing it means a day out somewhere, hopefully a nice hotel with a buffet.

Our head of department is taking Secret Santa to whole new levels, we each got three wishes which we posted in a box in the office and then...

'Dear xxxxxxxxxx

Secret Santa'

Any tips and suggestions are welcome. I'm thinking chocolate, pot pouri and something furry, though am well aware that a dog is for life not just for silly little games at Christmas.

It was my birthday last Friday and somehow all the kids had found out. My year eights have been bugging me for ages to try and find out and I thought I'd won the battle and they'd given up until my English teacher friend told them when it was. I then got a card from two of the girls in the class which they'd made in the aforementioned English teacher's lesson: I guess that's karma. The funny part was that they'd originally put 'love from' but then decided to cross out the 'love' bit. To be honest that just drew more attention to it. Bless.

My year ten's knew too and sang me happy birthday - against my protestations. One of the science teachers had told them but I can't remember telling him when my birthday was and I'm reasonably sure my birthday isn't on the Key Stage 4 Science syllabus. So that was weird. Even weirder was that somehow my year elevens had found out too but I have no idea who told them. I wonder if someone had been handing out flyers. I had another chorus of happy birthday. Whilst it's kind of sweet I do think the idea wasn't wishing me well so much as making as much noise as possible.

The best bit though was my form making me a lovely (and rather big) card in art. They all signed it and drew little pictures of themselves on the front. I might frame it and put it above my computer as inspiration for when I'm planning lessons.