The girls at our school freak me out on a day to day basis but seeing as it's the season of good will to all men (and maths teachers) they seem even more terrifying.

I'm a little concerned by all these Christmas cards signed with 'lots of love' on them. Steady on. Admittedly I'm scared of the word love in all shapes and sizes. It's a word that I think should be kept in a box and only ever be got out on very special occasions, like weddings and even then it should only be used once or twice. But I think it's a bit much on a Christmas card to a maths teacher.

One card said 'thanx for a brill 2 years, Mr xxxx = excellent teacher, lots of love, x and z = great pupils and good behaviour' Seeing as they're not that great pupils I guess that means I'm not an excellent teacher. Oh, who am I kidding: I'm brilliant.

Then yesterday one of my year eights hugged me against my wishes. As they say: never work animals or children - especially teenage girls.