I saw one of my year nines topless today.

I should probably explain...

She was just showing me her sunburn on her back

I should probably continuing explaining...

During their lesson this morning she was telling me how burnt she'd got at the weekend and offered to show me the picture of her back. Too much skin makes me uncomfortable, generally I mean. I'm practically asexual. I'd fit in perfectly in the 1920s. I'm not convinced schoolgirls should even be allowed to wear short sleeves so I definitely could have done without having any pictures thrust in my face. I pleaded that I'd go blind if she showed me but it was too late and before I knew it she'd whipped her phone out and I was looking a picture of a very red back with my face turning a matching colour. I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

Nevermind the fact that she had her phone out in class. I could hardly confiscate it anyway. We have to log what the pupils were doing with phones - whether it buzzed or whether they were texting, that sort of thing - and I don't think putting 'she showed me a picture on her phone of herself wearing very little so I took it off her' would sound very good.

I know that I'm a little prudish so that skews my views on such things but I do hope she learns that it's not a smart thing to show such pictures of yourself to any male under the age of, I don't know, fifty. On the other hand I suppose I should take it as a compliment that my pupils feel so much at ease with me, as though I'm a kind of benevolent Uncle. It's just it's a role I don't particularly want, especially if I have to gouge my eyes out afterwards.