Having been carefully selected to go on both year seven and year nine camps - presumabley on the basis of being young, energetic and keen to get involved in anything that I'm offered, but most importantly being unattached so can bugger of for a few nights without it bothering anyone - I am in for a tiring few weeks.

So this Saturday I'm feeling tired and have made the lyrics to I am the Walrus come true by getting a tan from standing in the English rain after coming back from the first of these: the year seven camp. But at the same time I have a tremendous sense of inner-peace. It's always good fun to get out of the classroom, even if the ceiling does act as a useful barrier to the elements. The kids are more relaxed, you're more relaxed so there's plenty of room for having a laugh and joke and just enjoying yourself such as by asking them what cows drink, telling them they look ridiculous when they get muddy or teasing them about helmet hair. You have to be prepared to take it too, especially if you look like a drowned rat yourself.

We arrived on Wednesday afternoon and were thrown straight into activities. My group we going caving and this involved a bit a of walk from the campsite, including through a field of bulls. Seeing as the campsite lent out red rain coats I ended up looking like I was helping at a jumble sale as the girls threw theirs off in panic. They were wearing bright pink tops anyway so I'm not entirely sure it was a wise move on their parts. The cave itself was a source of great mystery and fear. Darkness, enclosed spaces and a few (not very big to be honest) spiders and you have the recipe for an eleven year old's version of mortal terror. It was here that a few of my boys started to shine as they helped the girls out on the slippery floor. It was really quite sweet.

The guide got everyone to turn out their lights for a bit so we could see what true darkness was like. My form asked her for a spooky story. Seeing as she must do this sort of thing on a regular basis she disappointed slightly and just regurgatated a story another teacher had told in the morning. This teacher's father was into pot-holing and one time one of his friends had been left behind after the ladder out of the cave had been removed. Everyone else had gone to the pub afterwards and not noticed he was missing until his mum panicked the next morning when he hadn't turned up at home and given everyone an earful for being such inconsiderate bastards, at which point they decided it prudent to rescue the poor guy. Later on in the tour of the cave we did another lights out and the guide told another story. About some men working in a mine. One guy got left behind. The ladder got taken up. They went to the pub. Nobody noticed the other guy was missing... I couldn't help but feel I'd heard something similar before.

On day two of the camp we got to go on a zip-line. Everyone was very excited about this until they realised to get to the line they had to climb a very tall tree up to an equivalently small platform and just sort of jump off. One girl even started crying about it. To their credit they all had a go and I think they were glad they did. I had to help them get down at the end by lowering them down from the line on a rope. 'Aren't you getting bored sir?' asked one boy. To be honest yes, but it was worth it to see these beaming little faces as they whooshed past over my head. The intructor praised me for how I got them untwisted in several cases, which made my day. I even got to have a go myself, which was awesome. Most of the kids had screamed as they went down but being fairly undemonstrative I only shouted out 'woo-hoo!' as an afterthought, much to the amusement of the kids below.

At about eleven o' clock it started to rain. We went on a bike ride in the afternoon and got extremely wet and muddy. I'm beginning to think that me, cycling and school together will always equal rain. Last year on camp I got rained on whilst cycling. Last summer I went for a ride with another teacher and it poured down. If there's bike riding on year nine camp I should steer well clear. It was difficult to manage the ride seeing as the boys wanted to go charging ahead and the girls wanted to just not fall off. With another teacher we were able to split them so it worked okay. One boy tried to race me calling out 'seeya sir' as he pedaled furiously. 'Where are you going?' I asked as he failed to get away as I gentley tickled the pedals.

In the evening we managed a campfire in spite of the persistent rain. The teachers were running around with sticks heating up marshmallows to give to the kids. I don't think I've ever been so popular with hoards of kids shouting out to get one. I love heating marshmallows on sticks and eating them but handing them out to year sevens is even better. Some girls were squeamish about eating something that's been on the end of a stick so the lead teacher tried to convince them they'd been bought fresh from Tescos and sterilised. The kids didn't really believe her but I loved the element of doubt: 'she didn't really get them from Tescos did she?' A particular highlight was when one marshmallow dropped on the floor. The Head was visiting camp at that time and when the pupils rejected the fallen marshmallow she swooped down and ate it. It's reassuring that even Senior Leadership have a five second rule.

Because of the rain we sent the pupils to bed early that night with lots of blankets. They seemed to quite enjoy the sense of adventure of being outside getting wet and it only added to the camp experience.

The end of the camp came so quickly. We had one last activity in the morning before debriefing at lunch and then home. Our last activity was called 'sky ropes', which is best described an an obtacle course six metres in the air. It wasn't high enough to induce vertigo but it was high enough to make you very aware of the ground. We were strapped to a harness so it was perfectly safe of course but it was too much for some of the children. I had a go myself and it was definitely worth doing. Besides I have to appear fearless in front of the pupils. My favourite bit on this activity was one boy who took several attempts to get going but eventually did it with help from another pupil. This is definitely what it's all about.

I was sad to have to come home but very relieved to have a decent shower and get clean and dry. I was very impressed by some of the pupils in my form in the way they looked out for each other and how they gave everything a go. There were of course a few who could be a bit lazy and annoying when jobs had to be done but on balance they all had something to be proud of. From my own point of view doing the activities was a lot of fun. There's not many jobs where part of your work takes you into the countryside to play about on zip-lines and sky-ropes, except if you're a zip-line/sky-rope instructor. It was also good to get to know some of the other teachers that I haven't had much contact with before.

I slept very well last night though was slightly haunted by the sound of forty children going 'sir, sir, sir' over and over again.