Just before half term one of the maths teachers was discussing how one pupil from their A-Level Further Maths group was getting a bit lazy. They'd always worked hard at GCSE but were finding other things (I think the inference was boys) to distract them lately. It got me thinking about some clever people I know who have had their 'off-the-rails' moments and in particular from the Further Maths group I was in when I was doing my A-Levels. I came to a startling realisation. Further Maths is cursed.
Eight of us started the course, but two dropped out of it because they were a bit lazy. It might sound a harsh statement but I think they'd admit it themselves if you asked them.
A friend of mine got a good grade in the Further Maths and actually went to the same university as I did, on the same course in fact. I hasten to point out that I chose it first and he copied me. He didn't go 'off-the-rails' exactly but he gave up on maths after a year to take computer science. He's now an electrician with a wife and baby, so I suppose he's been very successful in that regard but in maths terms he didn't have the bottle to hack it, possibly because of the curse. I don't feel bad about being so condescending either because I remember him being very smug when he beat me a in a test once, what goes around comes around.
Another person went on to study music, which is a good move because he's a musical genius. Unfortunately he had some problems with illness so had to restart his degree a couple of years later. He's now doing a PhD. Again this is awesome, but the whole illness/restarting university is further evidence of a Further Maths curse.
Yet another person chose to do computer science. I'm not aware of any particular issues he has but he's a bit a cock so it stills counts.
The 'best' story if you like is of the only girl to do the course that year. Like a few of us she went to university to study maths, and in a similar to pattern to the others she didn't settle well to it. She had marks altered due to stress and such forth and I believe dropped out several times only to come back. It's the Higher Education version of 'doing a Sunderland'. I think she's eventually completed her course, or at least has been awarded a degree by a university who probably had had enough of her. I said this was the 'best' story and here's why: she's now a stripper. I know I'm being all snooty and middle class here but that's a hop, skip and jump away from the rails. I'm not sure where teaching would rank on a list of worthiness of jobs. It's not going to rival building huts for impoverished people the Third World, but it must beat being a hitman. And it certainly trumps stripping. Teachers love to advertise their subjects for A-Level by saying things like '14% of people who studied maths went on to become actuaries', I guess my old school would have to have a section on their pie chart for pole-dancing. There'd be a way round it but if you're a parent and you see a chart saying 'other' it probably means stripping.
I've lost touch completely with the last, mainly because I didn't know him very well in the first place and possibly never ever spoke to him. I do know however that while he was still at school he had to have a brain tumour removed, that's definitely evidence of a curse. I don't know what he's up to now. Maybe he's building huts in the Third World.
I of course went on to become a teacher. Where this ranks in the 'what went wrong?' scale of things is open to debate, but for some insane reason I did at least choose to be a teacher over everything else. It's not like I'm a failed accountant (would there be anything sadder to be?) or I had a desperate urge to stare at a computer screen all day but got rejected by some IT kind of people. And yes I'm aware of the irony of being so dismissive of such choices while writing a blog entry, staring at a computer screen.
It's scary how messy the lives of the others became, but thankfully most of have got through it in one way or another. However it's a stark warning: take Further Maths and you'll either become ill, a screw-up or in the worst case scenario a Maths Teacher.
