The maths department is dominated by women in their forties and fifties. They're all really nice and I'm glad to be in a department where there's so much experience but lunchtime conversations are usually such that it is all but impossible for me to make a meaningful contribution. Favourite topics are bitching about senior leadership, children/grandchildren and women's issues. Oh and the food section at Marks and Spencer.

A typical conversation from my perspective marking my books at my desk will go as follows:

And so-and-so bought a dress that was a size twelve, but it must have been an old size twelve because you should have seen it, it... white noise... and our Keith is coming up for tea on Tuesdays, he always comes on Tuesdays because... white noise... Can you believe the Deputy Head missing the PTFA meeting to go to Marks and Spencer... white noise... at least you save money on sanitary towels... white noise... I got one of those Marks and Spencer meals for ten pounds the other day, it was lovely, I had...

And so on. The whole meal for ten pounds conversation has been held about twenty times, I'm beginning to wonder if they're actually moonlighting for the Marks and Spencer marketing department. It's no wonder I always go off at tangents in my lessons, I can't wait to have a decent conversation about football or television programmes other than Midsomer Murders.