'I said exclude me you knob!'

I have one lesson a fortnight where I man the Isolation Facility, in other words I keep an eye on any pupils who have pushed it too far with their teachers and have been removed from their lesson. There were two year ten girls there who had been sent out of English and the Assistant Head was dealing with them. He sent one of them to wait outside the Head's office and was discussing matters with the other, he said that she needed to improve her behaviour or she'd be excluded. As he walked out she called after him 'go on, exclude me you knob!'

Oh no she didn't. Oh yes she did! I sat there wide-eyed and completely gobsmacked.

The Assistant Head came back into the room and asked her to repeat what she'd just said. You'd expect the girl to back down and pretend she hadn't said any but she was beyond caring, 'I said exclude me you knob!'

And so she was sent home.

I can sort of see why pupils love it when one of their peers has a row with a teacher; it's certainly entertaining. On the plus side from my point of view I wouldn't have to spend any more time with the girl, if she was prepared to call a senior teacher a 'knob' who knows what she'd have called me. She might even have dropped the C-bomb.

The girl originally sent outside the Head's office was brought back in like it was a strange version of musical chairs but without the music and with a lot of swearing. I'd taught this girl last year so knew what to expect from her: phones, frequent toilet requests, oh and she once called me a wanker. Sure enough the phone came out. Given it was only me and her in the room it was actually possible to hear her tapping away on the keypad so she never stood a chance.

Later on she asked to go to the toilet. I escorted her to the nearest toilets, which happened to be for staff but I wasn't going to take her for a stroll around the school. A minute later an office staff lady came out and told me how rude the girl was. 'I told her these were staff toilets and she told me to get over it.' The awful thing is that I wasn't shocked by it.

When the girl told me her side of the story - actually identical to the original version - and how the lady had called her rude I told her that I reckoned she'd live. She called me on it and said 'but aren't you being rude to me by saying that?'

Touche. I'd argue that it's different because I know her and also knew that she'd take it in the vein intended - which she did - but she's got a good point, sarcasm isn't necessary. I smiled at her in acknowledgement.

She's clearly made progress as she managed to go the full fortyfive minutes in the room without calling me a 'wanker'.