My pupils need to work harder at their joke telling, I'd say most of them are on a Level 3 at the moment. On Wednesday a year eleven told me a joke that her science teacher had told her to tell me because apparently I'm really clever and have a sense of humour. Clearly my colleague doesn't know me very well.

The joke, as told by a sixteen year old, was:

Two atoms were walking along and one says to the other 'I've just... something'

'Are you sure?' says the other

'I'm positive.'

'Lost an electron?' I suggest.

'Yes that's it!'

It's a good joke but it kind of loses something when you have to fill in the gaps for yourself. In fact most jokes fall apart when you miss out key words.

Q: What do you do if a [blank] throws a [blank] at you?
A: Pull out the [blank] and [blank] it back.

Your [blank]'s so [blank], she made a [blank] kid [blank].

(Answers on a postcard please)

My year eights are no better, 'sir what's orange a sounds like parrot?'

'Carrot, don't you mean sounds like a parrot?'

Missing out that 'a' ruins the joke because 'sounds like a parrot' puts in mind things that squawk, 'sounds like parrot' simply tests your poetic ability. They are a relatively low ability group so I can forgive them but worringly this joke had their English teacher completely flumoxed.