]]>Our Head of Department was asked which teachers to put down to cover these lessons during one lunch in the Maths office and as there were no volunteers he chose us on the qualification of not being in the room at the time, one of whom being myself. The other teachers just kept their heads down while this conversation was going on. When the covering teachers found out later that we would be teaching Geography, Drama and RE on Friday afternoon we had a good laugh at the cheeky manner in which we were selected. I think one my colleagues was a bit annoyed but we have a job to do and a teacher is supposed to actually teach not sit around drinking cups of tea.
Cover lessons aren't exactly fun because it's always a little outside your comfort zone. For instance I know very little about the Bam Earthquake, except that it's rather an unfortunate name for a place to suffer destruction in that manner. And losing PPA (Planning, preparation and assessment) time can be a annoying, but if you're scheduled to teach anyway that doesn't come into it.
However I was grateful when the Head of Department suggested the remaining maths teachers could relieve us halfway through our covers to share the load. As I run a club after school a little extra time on Friday afternoon is always welcome. Unfortunately there was one refuse-nik who didn't see why she should have to do anything when her name wasn't down on the official cover list. Which is a bit poor seeing as she'd actually be gaining half a free anyway. I think the Head of Department leant on her a bit and in the end everything was done very fairly. It's amazing how reluctant some teachers are to actually go into a classroom and teach.
]]>The Assistant Head gave me an almighty fright this morning at break when he asked me what I'd done to one of the girls in year ten. I stammered slightly as I thought up a defence of 'you can't prove anything' or 'I only accidentally bashed her head with my elbow as I was walking past' before he elaborated.
'She's in love with you'. Oh that's much better, no wait. It's a million times worse, what?!
'No, not like that. She was just telling me what a good job she thinks you're doing' I'd have thought he could have opened the conversation with that comment instead of giving me a heart attack.
I'm glad that my pupils feel the need to tell Senior Leadership that they're enjoying my lessons, though I did have to double check that she wasn't being sarcastic. It's nice to know that I must be doing something right, even if I always try to keep in it perspective as being a popular teacher isn't necesarily the same as being a good one.
PS: No I didn't bribe her.
]]>1128: One of the girls informs me that her friend is off sick and won't be in today. Thirteen left.
1129: A girl comes in and asks for some work because she's on reception monitor duty this morning. Twelve left.
1133: A latecomer arrives, I ask him if his fellow footballer is with him, apparently he was here earlier but mysteriously disappeared before the previous lesson never to be seen again. Eleven left.
1155: The latecomer is doing very little work and I warn him that if he doesn't do it now he'll have to stay at lunch to catch up. 'No I won't' he says and walks off down the corridor. Ten left.
1205: One of the girls is taken for her reading practice. Nine left.
1225: He-who-has-ADHD has to leave to take his tablet before lunch. Eight left.
1226: One of the girls with a disability leaves early as normal so she doesn't have to negotiate busy corridors. Seven left.
All-in-all a successful lesson.
]]>Even so pupils still try to wear them and they are often a hot topic of discussion. I haven't figured out what each means and I'm not all that interested but the basic idea is that if someone breaks one that you're wearing it means they're prepared to do or have done to them a variety of different sexual acts, dependant on the colour.
When one boy was taking his off after I'd seen him wearing them and one broke it took every ounce of restraint I possess to not ask him if it meant he had to go fuck himself.
I'd love to have just one day at school where there were no holds barred.
]]>'Peter, look this way please'
He turns round and under his breathe says: 'Why would I want to look like that'.
Touche. You've got to admit that's pure class. I have a good relationship with the boy and seeing as I don't think anyone else heard it I was happy enough on this occasion to let him have his little joke.
]]>This means they need some lessons to watch and one of my friends from the English department had been chosen for this dubious honour. In briefing this morning she was weighing up whether to go ahead with her original plan. As part of the scheme of work her year ten class had been watching parts of the film Stand By Me. In this lesson they would look at the ending, which features an amount of swearing. My friend was concerned about turning the air blue by showing part of a 15 certificate film to some fourteen year olds with the Deputy Head in the room.
My advice was to go for it based on the logic that if you're going to get in trouble you might as well make it for something good, rather than not making your learning objectives clear enough. Besides our school has this whole policy on CREPE, which yet again is not as good as it sounds as it features no pancakes; CREPE stands for Challenge, Risk-Taking, Engagement, Progress and Enjoyment. So by showing a video full of swearing to the Deputy Head she would certainly be taking a risk.
I look forward to hearing from her how it went tomorrow morning.
]]>It's difficult to come up with a suitable lesson for this time of the week. You can't just write it off, and some of the 'light' activities, such as colouring in, often make it even harder. With my year sevens this week I chose to do about Fibonacci Sequences. If the pupils are sufficiently motivated then they quite enjoy it. A Fibonacci Sequence is one where you add the previous two numbers to get the next one. For example 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13... I approached it using Fibonacci's Rabbits which starts with putting two hypothetical rabbits in a field and doing the maths behind 'at it like bunnies'. I won't go in to all the details here but I got pupils putting bits of card on the board to represent the rabbits and everything was going swimmingly.
For the main activity in the lesson I gave them a sheet with some problems about this kind of sequence. They were so keen and worked really hard on it. I had pupils punching the air when they managed to figure some of the more difficult ones out and when I gave one boy the extension sheet he let out a 'woohoo!' It was going well and I was enjoying helping them so I hadn't really noticed the noise level rising with their enthusiasm.
Next thing I knew the Deputy Head walked in, she was 'on call' to assist if any problems arose in lessons. I have respect for all senior members of staff because their experience far outstrips my own, but that doesn't mean I have to like them. She wandered round for a few minutes looking like a wet Sunday afternoon, sucking the life and energy out of the room. She was about as welcome as a drunken punch-up at a wedding. The next thing I know and she's stopped the class and said:
'I've just been stood watching for a few minutes and most of you are working hard but there are three or four people messing around. I'm going to stand here until I'm happy you're settled on your work'
My mouth was nearly bleeding I was biting my lip so hard. It'd be poor form to tell the Deputy Head to piss off in front of thirty eleven year olds. It's hard to know where to begin with what's wrong with her little speech. As a Deputy Head she has a responsibility to ensure that the pupils at the school receive the best education possible, but that doesn't mean she should just charge in to a classroom like a bull in a China shop.
I'd say three or four pupils not completely focused compared to twentysix hardworking ones at three o' clock on a Friday afternoon is pretty good going. A lot of offices would like that ratio. When a lesson is going badly the 'on call' teacher can be a major help. This wasn't such an occasion. One of the Assistant Head's is highly skilled at coming into a classroom and getting a good read on how much intervention is required, he puts the Deputy to shame in this regard.
I wonder whether she was actually trying to improve the learning experience of the pupils or whether she was just out to show herself as big and powerful in front of pupils who are still relatively new to the school. What she did achieve was to completely undermine me.
I was about to stop in order to start the plenary and she really put me off my stride, so in reality she had a negative impact on the quality of the lesson. I cannot see a single way in which the pupils in that class benefitted from her presence, which is the bottom line as far as I can see.
On a personal level I'm so frustrated by the incident. I've had a very positive week. I've taught some really good lessons, I've got my pupils across all classes interested in the work and where necessary I've bashed a few metaphorical heads together. I even had the Head telling me about an incidental comment she'd heard from a parent who was slagging off just about every teacher in the school but was impressed with me. It's annoying that the week had to finish on such a sour note because of someone who really should know better.
A quote I remember reading once is that life in the classroom is a battle, not between teacher and pupils but together against the things that stand in the way of learning. There's something seriously wrong when one of those things is the Deputy Head.
]]>One of my year tens asked why it was okay for me to drink my water in the lesson. Aside from the above I came out with:
'Because I have to do alot of talking'
'But sir, so do we!'
]]>To make matters worse I felt like one of the science teachers was trying to jinx me. I told her I had an observation first thing she was saying that she only had one class she wouldn't want to be observed with: her bottom set year eights, without realising this was the scenario I was facing. She tried to backtrack a little: 'maybe my class is on the other half of the year, mine's the A half'. Yeah, me too. It was all very ominous.
So I was very relieved that the lesson was a success. So good that my head of department rated it as Outstanding. It was very satisfying, especially as I hadn't done anything differently just because someone had come in to see the lesson.
This was followed by our Open Evening for parents trying to decide which Secondary School to send their children to. I had a nice covnersation with the parents of one of my year nines who has apparently been singing my praises to them. A teacher could get big headed. I also had a very strange conversation with a parent of a bright child who she wanted strtching sideways as well as upwards. I wasn't entirely sure what she was on about her but assured her we stretched our pupils in the full compass spectrum of directions.
The only fly in the ointment the past few days has been my form. Soem fo the boys are getting rather big for their boots, with one boy who seems to think he's above turning up for detention after messing aroudn during a fire drill. I'm going to get some senior back-up in order to bash a few heads together.
On Friday the Head informed us that we were going down from a Red Ofsted alert to Amber. Under the old system Ofsted left a maxmimum of three years betweens visits to a school. We've already passed that so the Head had contacted her union who told her Ofsted were trying to be less predictable to avoid schools gearing up for them. Rumours of a man in a suit with a clipboard standing in the bushes behind A-block have yet to be confirmed.
I finished the week with a very sore throat which has since developed into a full-blown cold, though there's no sign of man-flu. This gives me two days to prepare for the next week of adventures.
]]>With pupils like that I think the best course of action is not to take the bait and to try to be as courteous and respectful towards them as possible. I doubt this particular girl will ever take to me and that’s okay, but retaliation would only make things worse. Our school has a habit of bowing to pressure from pupils in this sort of situation when I can’t help but feel they should be made to like it or lump it. We don’t do them any favours by doing this, we only teach them that being rude helps you to get your way. Plenty of people have to work for a boss they don’t like; it’s just tough luck. So in short no I’m not going to be asking the teacher of the set above if he could take her, even if that would suit me fine.
From a personal point of view it’s very difficult to not end up severely disliking the pupil but it’s important to try and remember that often it’s because they don’t get much love at home and don’t know how to respond to anyone they don’t get on with without being hostile. That isn’t always the case, like many adults there are some pupils who come from perfectly nice backgrounds but inexcusably still end up being utter twats. However the main point is that our job is to teach and not to judge, tempting as that may be.
Aside from my own personal troubles I don’t think our school is the happiest place at the moment. OFSTED still loom large on the horizon and everyone wants to get it over with as quickly as possible. The Head referred to it in briefing this morning, she wasn’t quite so forthright as to say she wanted them out of the way but you could sort of read between the lines. It’ll be her first OFSTED since taking charge of the metaphorical ship and I think she must be feeling seasick about whether they find everything to be… er… shipshape.
There does seem to be some backlash against her at the moment with some staff whinging about her talking about consistency all the time. They feel she could do with practising what she preaches a little more. I understand what they’re saying but I go back to the point I made about not always seeing eye-to-eye with your boss. I fail to see how disagreeing with the Head would benefit anyone, we would only serve to undermine ourselves. I just hope everyone realises this. In our Head’s first year I heard from a pupil that one of their teachers had said he didn’t expect her to last long in the job. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.
All of which leads me to wonder if a storm is brewing, I just get the sense that something big is about to happen. It’s not all doom and gloom though. The Deputy Head came into my lesson this morning looking for a pupil who was in trouble over something – which unfortunately for the lad in question isn’t a rarity. He wasn’t actually there anyway but she took a look round at what the rest of the class were up to. I think she caught the shoulder of one of the boys as she walked passed and he asked her ‘did you just put something on my back?’ Right, so the Deputy Head of all people is going to put a post-it on a fifteen year old’s back saying ‘kick me’. In spite of the less likeable pupils I love working with kids as much as anything for some of the daft ideas they have. There’s always something to make you smile.
]]>One of my year tens had done some excellent work on a very difficult topic on Wednesday so I gave her a little reward badge. The next time I see the class she tells me that her mum's buying her a new phone for getting the badge. It's astonishing the knock on effects of how you deal with your pupils. After recieving a certificate from me a few years ago another pupil had been given ten pounds by her mum. I suggested she owed me a fiver...
]]>I often find it quite amusing that some pupils think I'm still really into it and would go home and spend a whole day rolling dice and telling people that their Orks are dead, I'd likle to think I'm a bit too grown up for that sort of thing. I find it even more amusing when teachers think the same.
The club's been on life support for the past couple of years with only three or four regulars in attendance each week. They've been going a long time now so know me very well and frequently remind of the time when I missed thin air when shooting - don't ask - and got five ones on five dice, a 1 in 7776 chance. This year we've kept the same people who came last year and now have some new year sevens joining, which is excellent news. We have two enthusiastic but less knowledgable boys and another who is like a walking encyclopaedia of Warhammer.
I found it nice at the end when they all said 'thank you' to me. I almost had to do a double take because as a teacher you very rarely hear anyone saying 'thank you' to you. It's fair enough really because we're just doing a job afterall, but it's always nice when you're appreciated.
]]>I was quite happy when one year nine came to me at the start of a lesson this week and asked if he could sit on his own. I told him there was an empty desk at the back he could have to himself if he liked.
A couple of moments later another boy asks why he's sat at the back. I explained that he'd requested to sit on his own.
'Oh I want to sit on my own too, can I sit next to him?'
]]>
]]>This afternoon one of my year tens, who for the record I've yet to make cry, informed me that my cat isn't called 'Pi', she's 'Mini', which might mean that she was once a British icon but is now manufactured by BMW. Apparently one of her friends had wanted that particular cat and had chosen the name for her.
Tough.
]]>Our morning is a bit of a false start. Only the year sevens come in at the start of the day with the rest of the school arriving in time for period two spent with their form tutors. The first pupils I saw then were my form. This was nice in a way but seeing as they're year nines they're very comfortable in their environment without being old enough that you can have a sensible conversation with them. It was amazing how much they'd changed over just six weeks, or I suppose to be more accurate how much they'd changed between last September and this July without me noticing because of seeing them more or less every day. Most of the boys were wearing hair gel like it was going out of fashion - for all I know maybe it is - and the girls had discovered make up. All except for the girls who'd previously discovered make up who seemed to have discovered fake tan and looked like they belonged advertising Tango. The most dramatic appearance change was a girl who arrived in my classroom with blue hair. I think we had every colour of the rainbow accounted for.
If I'm completely honest my form annoyed me a bit this morning, there's only so many times you can ask a class to be quiet without getting frustrated. My new year tens were far more receptive, which came as something of a relief as I'd been a bit nervous about them. Just so long as we can maintain the positive start. I'm always wary about getting too excited about a new class after the first lesson because you need to give it a while before you can relax even a little with them, but they seem like basically amiable kids so there's plenty to build on. At the start of the lesson I got them to decide on three expectations of behaviour and effort in class. Immediately one girl without a trace of irony or attempt at humour shouted out 'put your hand up if you want to say something'. I smiled at her and waited for her to realise her mistake. After this daft comment the lesson settled down well and I enjoyed teaching again. By the end of the lesson I had a great big grin on my face. When you consider that the last time I was teaching was July at the end of the previous school year when I was exhausted and the pupils extremely hyper it's quite a contrast.
My year sevens in the afternoon were fairly nervous looking, though actually quite confident compared to some I've taught previously. I'm not going to risk being too soft with them because that inevtiably leads to a very difficult time later in the year. I actually thought I was going to end up with a class of around forty because a worryingly high number of pupils got my classroom confused with another. Possibly because they seemed unable to tell the difference between the number two and the number five. I was stood under a sign saying 'A5' and they kept asking me if it was 'A2'. It's sort of sweet really but it's best to avoid laughing in their faces at such errors. At least it means we have plenty to teach them this year.
So plenty of positives from the first day, here's hoping the remaining one hundred and eighty nine school days this year are the same.
]]>For we the teachers it's back with a bit of a dull thud as we faced the monotony of today's INSET. Today being extra important as far as our Head is concerned as a few inches of learning outcomes are forecast with some thundery outbreaks of OFSTED. We're very much due a visitation as our last inspection was now three years ago.
The Head started the first meeting of the day by telling us all about a dream she'd had that OFSTED had told her she was a rubbish Head because she'd tried to give her staff too much information. It wasn't exactly a Martin Luther King style dream speech but I'm glad that she didn't describe anything involving zombie year elevens, which is pretty much par for the course in my subconscious at 3am. However she didn't take heed of the dream and went on to go on about... actually I'm struggling to remember much of what she said apart from one important bit.
She started to tell us all about Bobby Fidgeton in year seven who in spite of a being a pleasant and bright enough lad just can't sit still. I sort of knew where she was going straight away with this and it wasn't good.
I taught Bobby last year and he drove me round the bend with his hyperactivity. Anyway he'd told the Head that he'd been having a few problems in Maths so she'd come to see me to suggest I give him some blue tack to keep him occupied when he needed to be listening in lessons. I was actually quite impressed with her for taking time out of what I imagine is a very busy schedule to talk to me in order to help this boy out.
I was less impressed with her for telling this tale to the hundred plus staff sat in the dining hall at nine thirty this morning. I sort of sank down on my chair and tried to hide. I can't even remember what relevance it had to whatever she was talking about and I remember even less of the next few minutes as I tried to hide my embarrasment. I think it was something to do with teaching in some way. I like our Head but as with many people in senior positions in education she does talk some nonsense sometimes. She closed her speech by quoting the Nike slogan of 'Just Do It' and showing us a poster of a boy pissing against a wall. It made more sense if you were there, but only just.
The next little speech came from the Deputy Head who talked to us about Learning Outcomes and how not to write them, the trouble is I didn't feel she actually told us how we should write them apart from giving us a little handout which looked remarkably similar to a sheet I'd received at university and chucked out as being unneccesary when sorting through my files over the holiday. As with the Head I have huge respect for the woman but half the time I don't know what she's on about.
It was something of a relief to get away from the uncomfortable chairs and into the Key Stage Three meeting. The two teachers in charge of this Key Stage are two of the nicest at our school, so that's... er... nice. As my form are in year nine I'm feeling a bit of an old hand at the form tutoring lark so felt very confident talking to one of the NQTs about everything, even when she already knew my name after our Head's little blue tack story.
In the afternoon we had another speech from the Head which she called 'The Head goes on a bit more' and it certainly lived up to its billing. She kept asking us to raise our hands as a quick survey if we didn't know what something meant. I might as well have kept my hand up the whole time.
It was a relief to get into departments, until the Head of Department told us all that we had a new departmental code for the photocopier. He'd been speaking to Emily who works in reprographics and she'd some up with our code because of my telling her my way of remembering the numbers. I always try and think of sums to give the required digits and connect things in some way. So our new code is 26156 because 156 = 26 x 6. Pretty neat, but for the second time already in the new school year I died of embarrasment.
I picked up when I found out that my top set year elevens would now be a sort of super group. We split each year into two halves and then set the halves. Last year there were five sets on each half, but this time we have an extra set on the half I teach so we're doing some rejigging. The bottom line is that instead of teaching a class of thirty one of a reasonable range of abilities I will only have twenty three extremely bright pupils. Leaving aside opinions on setting it's quite a priviledge to have the opportunity to teach such a group, and also an opportunity to really go for it with some exciting lessons. It should be fun.
Hopefully the rest of my classes will be okay too, though I'm expecting a touch time with some of the groups, but there's plenty of time to talk about that on another day. For now it's fingers crossed and bracing myself for another full on year, blue tack and all.
]]>'Oh I know this one, it's that bloke from Question Time'
'You're on the right track, I think it's Newsnight you're thinking of'
A few minutes later the boy pipes up again:
'I've got it! It's Trevor McDonald!'
]]>I started slowly and soon fell behind, then I fell a bit further behind in the middle and at the end they all finished, then it was pause...pause... a slightly longer pause... and then I crossed the line.
They debated that there should in fact have been another pause in there. I still got a huge cheer though; these kids are far too easy to impress. Lots of people, both pupils and staff, said well done to me. I wasn't sure if they were being ironic or patronising. All except one year seven who told me in no uncertain terms that I was rubbish at running. I appreciated her candidness and had to agree. In all fairness to myself the other teachers taking part actually do a fair bit of recreational running whereas my last sprint was exactly one year ago in exactly the same place. And I bet they don't know pi to fifty decimal places either.
One of the senior teachers said to me that perhaps it was an indication to slow down in life, though I'd say a lack of speed was the problem in the first place. I like my beer and chocolate too much to be a health freak. I'm really quite thin but I give scant regard to fitness and physical prowess. I don't think I helped my cause this afternoon by polishing off a tube of Pringles last night while watching a film. As an aside it was Singin in the Rain, which thankfully we weren't doing today. I probably ought to try to keep in shape better but that can start tomorrow (all the best diets start tomorrow) because I had fish and chips tonights. To my credit I bought some 99 calorie bottles of Carling, and no it was just lots of small bottles. That represents progress.
As far as running in Sports Day goes I'll probably do the same again next year, and with the same result. When we're picking teams for Sports Day and our termly Team Sports competitions I'm always banging on to my form about how it's an achievement just to take part so I think it's important that I practise what I preach. I'd also like to think I'm proof that it's okay to suck at something.
]]>'Well, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much they pray to God to send them a baby and if they're lucky the stork delivers them one nine months later.'
'But what about unwanted babies and teenage pregnancies?'
'That's the stork's evil twin.'
]]>I continued walking past and had a quick chuckle to myself.
]]>Thankfully it was a nice group of staff that went so it was all very pleasant from that point of view. We didn't have much chance to go on any rides ourselves as we had to be on duty, as it were, at specific times at certain points so that the pupils could find us if they had any problems. We helped reunite some year sevens who had lost one member of their group. They were all in tears as though their friend had gone MIA in Vietnam. You couldn't help but feel sorry for them, I find Alton Towers a stressful enough place so heaven knows what it's like for a twelve year old who has lost all her mates.
Good deed for the day done I escaped to the gardens for a bit and stumbled across some lads - not from our school I hasten to add - smoking something that didn't smell quite like ordinary cigarettes. I was tempted to ask for a quick drag myself.
At the end of the day we had some pupils late back to the meeting point, which really hacked everyone off, both pupils and staff, especially as it was bucketing down with rain by that time. As I said it's my idea of hell, but at least it was nice to see all these smiling faces on the bus on the way home.
]]>How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
One of the girls chirps up with 'fifty'
Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
'three'
Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
'ten'
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Oh no it isn't Bob, it's coming right out of a fourteen year old's mouth. She's quite a character and I mean that in a good way. She wanted to add me as a friend on Facebook and set me as being married to her. I then played a describing game where I was explaining why I couldn't let this happen without using the word 'paedophile', 'nonce' or 'lengthy jail sentence'. One of the boys then chipped in with 'he can't because then he'd be a paedo!'
It's probably a little harsh to brand someone a 'paedo' for being friends with a minor on Facebook but at least he was on the right sort of track. I love working with kids; they're so straight to the point.
]]>As far as the behaviour is concerned I should be patient with my pupils because some of it is just exuberance because we're near the end of term, but to be honest quite of a lot of it is just unnecessary and irritating.
Thankfully no day in school is ever all bad because there's so many pupils, certainly at our school, that are simply awesome. It was fantastic bumping into some of the year nines that had been on the trip in the corridors because we were able to reminisce about the past week. My face lit up whenever I saw any of them. It's amazing what doing these kinds of things do for your relationship with the pupils. There were a lot of in-jokes about skipping and 'poon'. I wish I was back in Scotland.
]]>Gorge Walking
The big thing that I did this year that I didn't do last year was to go gorge walking. The idea being to eschew the common sense of walking alongside a stream and to wander up the middle instead, getting very wet in the process. It's good fun and along the way involved several opportunities to submerge yourself in a Scottish stream. Along the way I managed to beat the pupils at a holding your breath competition. Not exactly the most dramatic of victories but at least I proved that I have a better lung capacity than your average teenager.
I Can't Believe I Get Paid for This
These trips are always fun but it helps if the kids are nice. We split them into groups of around eight or nine pupils when they do the activities and for most of the week I was with possibly the nicest children on the planet. They were notable for being pupils I had actually heard of for positive reasons. Most of the time when you hear a name in the staffroom it's because it belongs to a pain in the neck. These kids though were amazing. There were even occasions when they burst into cheerful song as they were walking along. It was like taking the von Trapps away for a week.
Skippy
Three years into my proper teaching career and I'm still plenty capable of getting myself into some daft situations. So when two of the girls asked if I would skip with them along the beach it doesn't take a genius to guess at my response. The question is how many Maths teachers would skip along a beach with two of their pupils, and how many Maths teachers would anyone think to ask in the first place. I think there's a video of it somewhere so stay tuned to YouTube.
Language Barriers
I think we must have taken the most sex-obsessed boys in the country this year. Every conversation they had seemed to involve the word 'poon'. They couldnt' get enough of it. I'm not sure any of them managed to go more than five minutes without bringing it up. Funnily enough they were using the word because they didn't think the teachers would knwo what it meant, how very naive of them. Thinking about it they were probably only averagely obsessed with poon by teenage boy standards.
Charging My Torch
We needed torches with us this year and I had brought along one that you charge up by shaking. I guess you could shake it using a variety of techniques, but some are more familiar than others, much to the amusement of the pupils. This led to some bizarre comments from the boys of 'I'm just going to charge my torch'.
All in all a good trip. Only 357 days until the next one.
]]>The other teacher was there for the first half of the lesson with me taking over later on. This was a mistake on my part as we hadn't realised the exam only lasted fortyfive minutes so fiften minutes before the end I suddenly had sixty fourteen and fifteen year olds under my command. I can barely manage to control one class let alone two. It wasn't too much of a problem though as year tens are capable of just standing round and talking quietly, unlike year sevens who seem to be on a constant mission to expend the same energy as a star going supernova.
Apparently the exam itself had been fairly tough going, though my pupils didn't use quite so many words to describe it. The Maths exam they'd had last week was much better. I think it must be down the standard of teaching they'd received. And making the exams too short to fill a lesson doesn't help either.
]]>Coaching
Coaching has reached the Maths department like a dose of Swine Flu. The idea is that we all watch someone watching someone else teach so that we can become effective reflecters on our practice. It sounds a lot of nonsense but gives you a bit of encouragement of watch other teachers teaching. Yesterday I got see a lesson on equations, which gave me food for thoguht on how to approach this topic.
Exams
My year elevens sat their final Maths exam on Monday. We had a breakfast revision session immediately prior to this and I was alarmed by the number of pupils who came in saying they hadn't done any revision: 'sir don't say anything but I haven't done any revision.' I followed the girls instruction and ignored her completely.
Camp
It's getting close to the camping season. Once again I'm off to Scotland with the year nines. Last year was highly entertaining and I've every reason to expect the same again this year, though I think I'll avoid the hair straighteners this time.
Inter-form challenge
My form continue to lead the way in year eight as being the most-successful form. Our most recent competition was designing a poster discouraging the dropping litter. Some of my boys took the Fascist approach of 'Drop it and Die' with guns being pointed at heads. In some ways it's distrubing, but at least they were doing it ironically. I think.
*Can't Be Arsed
]]>I emptied my room of any coats that have been left behind. I'd been a bit slack with this recently so had quite a pile, earning me a disapproving look from the person in charge of lost property. We really should take things down as soon as possible but quite often is something gets left in your room the pupil comes back for it anyway. To avoid further scorn I'll be a bit more pro-active about it next time.
From there I went to do some photocopying, during which time I managed to give the copier a serious error. Apparently this is only the second time that particular machine has had an error - as opposed to a paper jam, which happens qutie regularly - so I was quite honoured.
Periods two and three I actually had to teach some classes. Though seeing as they were just doing their end of year - yes, it's that time already - exams, it wasn't excitement central.
In the afternoon I was interviewing some pupils about behaviour. I'm attending these meeting about Behaviour for Learning, which is to do with coming up with a policy on behaviour rather than just discussing the behaviour itself. Impressively they haven't just descended into a whinge-fest about everythign that goes wrong in the school. Curiously the pupils felt that a good shouting at was far more effective than a removal or a detention.
I was just settling down to mark some of the tests from the morning when the phone rang and I had to do a last minute cover. The Assistant Head was speaking to the police about a fight that had taken place the previous day so needed someone to take his year ten citizenship lesson. He put Question Time from the BBC i-player up on the projector and left me to it. It was all about the expenses scandal and after a few minutes I'd lost interest myself. There's a time and a place for Question Time and it isn't in a sweaty classroom at around three in the afternoon. Seeing as they were pleasant enough children they were at least capable of sitting and talking quietly without turning the chairs and tables upside down, though I still couldn't help but check the time every five seconds. Their teacher apologised to me later for putting me in such a situation.
To finish the day I attended the aforementioned Behaviour for Learning meeting. All of which fun and games meant I took a huge stack of marking home with me to complete in the evening, not something I had been expecting to be doing. I can't help but feel that somehow all the marking would have been done already if I'd been teaching a full day's worth of lessons. Such is life in a school.
]]>My year nine class aren't about to set any records for achievement so they have a Teaching Assistant attached to them, which is just as well as even though they're a nice bunch of kids - for the most part - they're not always easy to control. Especially as I'm a bit of a soft touch so need all the help I can get.
Yesterday afternoon the TA was supporting a pupil doing a GCSE exam so couldn't be in the lesson. At the end of the hour one of the girls says to me, 'I think we've been really good today... seeing as Miss wasn't here'. It's not the sort of comment that does wonders for my self-esteem but she had a point. I always try to keep a sense of perspective about things. If before I'd started teaching I'd been told to expect a low-ability year nine class to behave so well on a Friday afternoon I'd have been ecstatic.
I'm not above being blunt myself. My year elevens all have these books they're getting their friends and teachers to sign and Friday was my turn. In some cases it was easy to think of things to write: 'thanks for all your hard work', 'you make me laugh', 'it's been a pleasure to teach you' and lots of other cliches. In some cases it was harder. One girl had been sent to my class from another group because she'd had a catastrophic falling out with her previous teacher so I'd put 'you were much nicer than I expected. I'm glad you joined this class.'
The hardest was trying to find something nice to write about a girl who'd been nothing but trouble ever since I started teaching her. I put something ambiguous like 'it's been entertaining. Good luck in the future.' She looked disappointed that I hadn't written more. I think she has the delusion that even though she's a pain I have a bit of a soft spot for her. I really don't. She was lucky I wasn't completely honest with her because then I'd have just written 'you're fat and I don't like you.' Believe me, it was tempting.
]]>'Sir, what's a prostitute?'
'Oh, ask your Mum.'
'You saying my Mum's a whore?'
Later in the same day with my year tens:
'Sir Fred drew a penis in my book'
'Is that yours Fred?'
Unfortunately that question could be interpreted two ways, what I meant was did he draw the picture, but unsurprisingly my pupils took it the other way.
All in a day's work.
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